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lolindsxo12

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you never know what you had, until its gone. [posted: 03/20/2005 @ 1:40p.]
[ mood | gloomy ]

well i've had a pretty good weekend. friday i hung out with mike after school, and that was good, like always. saturday i hung out with amanda and lauren. that was fun. we basically did nothing at all, just sat around the house and talked and looked at old pictures and danced and made macaroni and cheese. then we got really bored and amandas step dad took us to big boy at 1 in the morning. wow that was an interesting time. talked abuot things, i never thought i could talk about to an adult. he's like a second dad to me, and i just love it!

note to self and everyone that reads this: june 13th amanda gets her drivers licsense. she is the worst driver in the world. so we're driving out of her sub at 1 in the morning, and its really foggy, well first off amanda couldn't see where the road ends, and she almost drove straight into a ditch, but thats only the beginning. we're driving down baldwin, amanda going way too fast, and theres a red light, so she gets in the turn lane which is a green arrow, so she thought that meant we could go straight, in a turn lane! wrong decision, me and greg(her step dad) yell to her to get over, she runs a red light. then outta no where she stops in the middle of the road, thinking there was a stop sign! Then were coming close to big boy, and she couldn't see where the entrance was, so she goes past it a little bit, and realizes its right there, so she stops and does this huge turn to get into it. wow...what an interesting drive. I love you amanda, haha, that was soo fun!

im really sick of fighting with you. really i am. and i hate always arguing and feeling like we're gonna break up. i could never break up with you, and you know that. we're so happy together, but sometimes we just fight way too much and it brings us down. i don't know what to say anymore, i love you so much, and being with you is the best feeling i've ever had. you mean so much to me, and i don't know what i'd do without you. I love you so much, and i hope we can stop fighting, and move on from all of this. I love you with all my heart, and nothing or anyone can change that.

 

 

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2 are | thinking awful things.

comes the questions that are answered [posted: 03/18/2005 @ 11:56p.]
[ mood | cheerful ]

well today was a good day. school was boring. the term ends soon, so i'm happy about that. i guess i'm just going to give it my all the next few days, and whatever happens, happens. I call this my "slacking off term" so much has happened this term, losing my grandpa impacted my grades so much, in such a bad way-so i have to deal with it. Its crazy, you miss like 2 days, and it feels like you missed so much and you fall so behind. this year has gone by so fast-its rididculous, soccers already here, which means a lot more running and getting into shape, and we only have 1 more term left! I'm soo excited for summer=freedom. I love it. Next year i'm a junior, and after that one more year of highschool. Seems like just yesterday when i walked into highschool on my first day, and here i am ending my second year. Its crazy, so much has happened these past 2 years. Some i look back on and i'm happy about, others i just think why in the hell did i do that? or what was i thinking? Whatever. I'm over my past, its gone, and i'm only looking ahead of me, no more turning back and looking at all the bad stuff, that somehow keeps with me and brings me down all the time.

 

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3 are | thinking awful things.

i just wanna hold you close, but so far all i have are dreams of you [posted: 03/16/2005 @ 11:51p.]
[ mood | busy ]

well i haven't really updated in a long time. haven't felt the urge to really come on here. so yeah. last weeked was good, friday i hung out with mike and steve and we went to salvation army and came back to my house and watched American History X. Its a really good movie, highly reccomend it!saturday i went to the show at the emen center with mike and steve, that was good but kind of boring. Sunday i hung out with mike and did nothing all day. Monday i had soccer tryouts-which sucked, because i really don't want to play, but oh well. Wednesday was our volleyball banquet, that was so fun, and such good food..yummm! And today i had soccer tryouts, and i broke my ankle, so i'm really bummed about that. Its gross though, its all fat and black and blue...yuck!

Nothing exciting happened since i've updated but oh well!

 

BanquetCollapse )

4 are | thinking awful things.

the first cut is the deepest [posted: 03/10/2005 @ 11:32p.]
[ mood | cranky ]

b o r e d u mCollapse )

2 are | thinking awful things.

these are the best days of my life [posted: 03/07/2005 @ 10:37p.]
[ mood | happy ]

well today was finally a greeattt day. school was good. parents didn't go to confrences, plus times 100. soccers tomorrow, but i'm actually looking forward to getting in shape with miss allison price. Im probably just running the mile and maybe the 15 laps. I'm contimplating on which i want to do. Because we have today, and tomorrow, and if we don't finish our runs, we have to do it on thursday, which i don't want to do, b/c A.) we don't have school and B.) me, mike, adam, astray and steve are cruising around michigan in search for salvation army's, so i really don't want to run on a non school/salvation army day. well school was fun, 1st hour we went to the computer lab, talked to mason all hour, 2nd hour we just watched a movie, 3rd hour we watched a movie all hour, and 4th hour we watched a movie, plus a sub! yess...basically i watched movies all day in school, cool huh? After school i went to mikes house, then we came here and made dinner, and then went to Salvation Army with adam and ashley. It was fun. Today was a great day, and i'm in a great mood, and i don't know why! Im likin' this. I'm thinkin' its because my parents didn't go to confrences, and that just let a whole bunch of stress off my chest....

i just cleaned my room super good, and i'm really proud of myself, i threw away a lot of stupid stuff i didn't need anymore. And just organized it all, it really need it, it looked disgusting!

im in a great mood, and i love it!
i actually love my life at this point in time
a lot of things are dissapointing me
but whatever, i'm over worrying too much
i just love this, and i love mike.
im excited for soccer and volleyball now
i'm not gonna whine over soccer
i've been playing since i could kick a ball
and theres no point in throwing it all away
i'm not doing travel over the summer, i'm gonna actually have a life
i'm excited for that, i've been with the same team for 6 years
and its getting really old. so i'm sorta happy but i'm gonna miss all you girls!
i love you all- division champs 3 years in a row baby! yesss I<3 every single one of you.

 

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3 are | thinking awful things.

loves a game of easy come and easy go [posted: 03/07/2005 @ 12:17a.]
[ mood | tired ]

weekend was good.

friday-hung out with mike, cousins came over, and hung out with them. it was fun.

saturday-went to volleyball, got my game on with miss amanda michelle kidder, i sucked really bad though. then we went back to her house, and hung out and attempted to watch the notebook, but went to taco bell. it was fun. then we went back and watched a movie with her mom and greg. it was a super good movie it was really good, it was called cellphone, i reccomend it! it was grreeeaatttt. then we went to bed.

sunday-mine and mikes 5 months!!! we hung out all day, came home ate dinner, then went back over there. it was funnn.

soccers coming up
i'm half excited but half not excited!
i'm more excited for AAU to start up
i miss all my old friends from Adams and Oxford.

i really love mike a lot. its crazy. i'm so happy right now. and i wouldn't change it for the world. :) i love you mikey.

love lindsey

thinking awful things.

every rose has it's thorns [posted: 03/05/2005 @ 3:59p.]
[ mood | happy ]

LA night tonight bitchesssss
I bet your so jealous

 

the reunion of two best friends. i love amanda michelle kidder.

im excited for tonight

tomorrows mine and mikes 5 months-yesss...i love you mike.

 

 

thinking awful things.

aw, mom you're just jealous- it's the beastie boys! [posted: 03/03/2005 @ 11:32p.]
[ mood | happy ]

so i had a good day. overall i was happy all day. yess. so basically i'm just gonna forget about all my worries, and not care about things that don't matter, except my grades, they matter, but with all the crap that happened this term, i tried my hardest, i just gotta face the fact i'm no good at school.

so after school i hung out with mike. it was good. i love him. he always makes me smile, and makes me laugh, and i just love having him around. i guess i just have a great boyfriend. we fight, but whatever, i love him so much, it doesn't even matter. I love you mikey soo much

so this saturday should be funn--LA night on saturday-yess, i'm excited, i haven't hung out with amanda in forever. I miss her. I miss hanging out with her the most out of all my friends, we were like sisters before but we stopped hanging out, but i'm glad we're talking and hanging out again. i love you amanda, i had the best times with you, your my best friend for life. Ive never had a best friend, but i refer to her as my one true best friend.

Your Celebrity Sisters Are Mary-Kate and Ashley

Funky, eccentric, and offbeat
You're not a good girl or a bad girl, just a weird girl

yess i always loved them. as a matter of fact, i looked like them when i was younger, according to david franz. haha. well i guess i never thought my "celebrity sisters" would be anorexic, but whatever. haha i still love them. even if they are crack heads, and maybe i am weird? I don't know. haha

so i listened to beastie boys today...and it was really random, but it made me smile, and i knew every word. weeirddd.

 

 

 


b e a s t i e b o y sCollapse )

2 are | thinking awful things.

i just want my life to be perfect in the sense where i knew nothing bad was gonna happen [posted: 03/02/2005 @ 11:29p.]
[ mood | depressed ]

storyCollapse )

6 are | thinking awful things.

i just want my life to be perfect in the sense where i knew nothing bad was gonna happen [posted: 03/02/2005 @ 11:29p.]
[ mood | depressed ]

storyCollapse )

thinking awful things.

i like watching movies that make me laugh till my stomach hurts [posted: 03/02/2005 @ 9:21p.]
[ mood | cranky ]

well today wasn't anything exciting. school was gay, after school i went shopping then to the varsity basketball game at adams for districts, we lost, and it really sucked. so again, nothing exciting happened today.

i wish my life was exciting.

i'm getting in a lot of bad moods lately. and i don't know what to do about them.urrrghhh
i feel like a horrible person, and i can't do anything right.


i really really really want to run away and get my minds off things like school. school is terrible, i'm terrible at school, so it mixes well. i really really really suck at school, and everyone thinks i'm a bitch? Hmm...maybe its because of someone that doesn't like me because of my past expiriences with them...urrrghhh i hate rumors and how they get started so quickly.

drama...stress...jealousy...anger...RELAX!

/i wish life was easy/

i'm addicted to livejournal, its sad but true.

i

.

.

.

love

.

.

.

you

 

you stank.haha mikey.

 

2 are | thinking awful things.

i want to run through the halls of my highschool, i wanna scream at the top of my lungs. [posted: 03/02/2005 @ 12:28a.]
[ mood | bored ]

new layout

snow day today. what a wonderful day to spend with my lovely boyfriend. we saw cursed...ahh it was terrible, don't see it, its terrible.

i wrote something. showed it to one person, not in any hurry to show it to the world. its sorta like my story, and i don't want anyone to see it. maybe one day i'll put it somewhere where everyone could read it, but for now, it's something for me.

i've been thinking and writing a lot. it's really good for me, to let all my emotions escape instead of keeping them all bottled up.

i love you, and i want to kiss who.

 

wonder who that person might be?

.

.

.

 

oh yeah, i love mike and want to kiss mike

 

i want to run through the halls of my highschool, wanna scream at the top of my lungs.
thats definitely what i feel like doing right now. screaming so loud so that everyone in the whole world can hear it. no doing it because i'm in such a bad mood, but it's a feeling that overcomes me at certain times. i feel that my life really sucked before it wasn't perfect, it was sorta like before i was in a constant state of denial where i thought my life was perfect and nothing bad could ever happen to me. but i look at my life now and smile because i have someone in my life, someone more meaningful, and loving. my lifes not perfect, just like everyone elses is, but the imperfections are what make it so special. Waking up not knowing what was going to happen, or having it in such order where i know whats going to happen day by day. i like how my life isn't just your ordinary life, its something so different, so worth while. maybe because he's in my life, is what makes its so wonderful.

 

 

1 are | thinking awful things.

do you think our love can bring miracles? [posted: 02/28/2005 @ 11:06p.]
[ mood | busy ]

do you know how bad i want to kiss you?

i feel like writing a story about my life. and all the things that i've done wrong, or that has gone wrong in my life. at one point in time, my life was so far from perfect i barely could touch it. i lost full respect of certain people, and gained a lot of new friends, some i barely even talk to now a days, i guess thats something called "life". only four letters long, but with tons of meanings. life is hard. but i overcame obstacles girls have to go through everyday. i never thought i would ever expirience something called a "hearbreak". But i did. And it sucks. But once you find that special someone that you know would never in his life break your heart, you feel whole again, you feel like all that trouble you went through in the past, finally had a good outcome. Whether it be loosing friends, and gaining new ones, having a bad relationship and finding someone so much better, whatever it is, you can always overcome it. I bet my story would be 12 million pages long, i just couldn't stop writing, it'd be so hard to write, but something to cherish for the rest of my life. Something you would use to reflect back on your past, something sort of like this livejournal. I don't know. I just wanna write one and get every emotion, anger, out. So everyone that ever doubted what my opinions were and what i was thinking at that particular point in time, could know.

i love you, thanks for everything.

with love.*

2 are | thinking awful things.

well if you're a bird....im a bird. [posted: 02/28/2005 @ 9:29p.]
[ mood | hyper ]

well today was a pretty good day overall. i had school, which sucked. i fucked up on my english test, but thanks to the NICE mr.larsen, he's letting me retake it, gawwshhh. Then i came home and then went to mikes. We hung out there, and sat around all day, then went to the mall. We tried on some really cool hats in Burlington, i've never laughed so hard. I can have so much fun with him and be so serious at the same time, i guess thats what you call a "great" boyfriend. So i read miss.allison prices livejournal, and it inspired me to write something. Because i know i've gone thruogh a lot, and i can totally relate to her story. I've been in love before, and fallen out of love. You know that saying "first loves never die." At a certain point in my life, i thought that they couldn't. But once you meet someone so wonderful, so caring, so nice, fun, amazing, you realize it can die, and something better can be re-born from it. You go through heartbreaks all throughout your life, it's like youve expierienced life. Losing someone you thought you had a wonderful connection with, someone you thought would never be out of your life, can happen without you even knowing. I learned that the hard way, but in a way it started something good for me. I met someone totally new, and totally for me. He's perfect in so many ways, i love him.
well i'm gonna watch the notebook for the 4th time in 2 days. yessss i love that movie.

i love michael andrew cumo so much.

 

you'll always be my sunshine.
and you'll always shine.

2 are | thinking awful things.

it wasn't over, it still isn't over [posted: 02/28/2005 @ 12:52p.]
[ mood | happy ]

the notebookCollapse )

thinking awful things.

I've never had been ...friends than when i was twelve, does anyone?" [posted: 02/27/2005 @ 2:29a.]
[ mood | determined ]

so i'm up way to late. but some amazing persons livejournal caught my eye and made me think. we do grow up to fast, people act older than they really are, when we should be living life and no worrying about growing up. We have our own opinions, our own relationships, we're young adults, but the inner child is what keeps us refreshed.

cmon we are still 15, or 16 for alot of you. SLOW DOWN.
because soon we wil be older and suffering from a mid life crisis and want to be back in highschool.
and then go and purchase an un needed corvette to gain back some "youth"

drama, anger, jealousy, stress...RELAX

thats all the moods we go through everyday.

in my opinion, i miss being in kindergarten, when you could run aruond outside all day splashing through puddles and dashing through mud as if you didn't have a care in the world. You didn't care if your hair was messy, or if you had no make up on, or if you were wearing the "fashionable" expensive clothes, people spend gags of money on when you could go to a cheap store and get some cut clothes, and start your own trend. When you were younger, you had you own little world, where you could make up what was going on, who was in it. It was your world, your life, you didn't have to worry about the outside world, or responsibilties, you were a kid and you lived your life to the full extent. Life was life when you were younger. you wore overalls, boys had cooties You know, overalls were in, boys had cooties, you didn't know un needed words that shouldn't be used in our vocabulary, you didn't know what was going on outside your little world, it was your own world, where you believed in anything, and that anything was possible.

amanda...i look up to you, and what you have to say. it inspires me, you inspire me. xoxo

1 are | thinking awful things.

[posted: 02/27/2005 @ 1:03a.]
[ mood | loved ]

so today was a really good day. mike called me at 1, and it suprised me because i didn't think that he would be home till later, so that just started my morning off so good. Then i finally rolled out of bed, because he woke me up. Thats the best, when the love of your life calls you, wakes you up and tells you he's home!! ahh i love him. Anyways, i made a hair appointment for 2:30, i went to taco bell, because i mean you always need taco bell. So i went there then went to the hair salon. Well i only wanted to get a trim and fix up my bangs, but to my suprise the lady took off 3 because my hair was so ruined, so now it's super short, but i like it. After a lot of contimplating, and complaining about it, i'm beginning to like it. Then i went and picked up mike, and he came over. We went and ran errands for my mom, and i went to hollister to buy pants, and then we came back ate dinner and rented some movies. They were good movies....the best was, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, great movie highly reccomend it!!!Anyways, he stayed till midnight, and now i think i'm gonna watch Wicker Park, and hit the sheets.

so i feel a lot better than last night. mike made me smile all day today, i love him. He took all my worries away just like i wanted him too.
i love you baby, always.

 

love lindsey
xoxo

 

i love jammin to nsync and backstreet boys with mike.

 

amanda peterson is a stud-muffin. i heart you. thanks for sticking by me forever. 5th grade wouldn't have been the same without you. i'm so sad your half way across like the fricken world. But you know i'll always be here for you, even though im a bazillon miles away. I love you always. You were my best friend then, and you still are. I feel like even though we're so far away form eachother, i can always go to you. Losing you so long ago, was torture, and i still can't handle it 6 years later....i love you amanda.

mike, i wouldn't be who i am today if it wasn't for you. i know i say it alot, but i mean it when i say I love you. Your not only the best boyfriend i could ask for, your my best friend. I look up to you not as a boyfriend but as a person. you've changed my life in so many ways, that i don't think anyone could have done but you. You come to me whenever i need help, or whenever i'm down. Your the BEST BOYFRIEND i could ever ask for. I never thought i would find someone like you. I love having you in my life. You're such an unbelievable person, no one else sees what i see. Your perfect to me, your more than perfect. I know you have imperfections, but those are what makes you so special. I love you baby, and i always will be here for you.

she's jailbait. haha joy i miss you pumpkin. i miss waking up on wednesday mornings and listening to dashboard. or you calling me when you were watching oprah and telling me what it was all about. hahaha. those were the good times me you and amanda were so attached. I love you.

 

thinking awful things.

i've got no one to send a little too, would you mind if i sent one back here to you [posted: 02/25/2005 @ 11:07p.]
[ mood | depressed ]

so today was a good day. but when i reflect back on everything, i suck at everything. my grades are terrible, and i feel like i just can't keep them up. i'll get good grades, but my grade just drops so much. i feel like i don't learn anything, and i can't understand anything. i hate when people are like i got a b+ i'm so mad, but like to me i'd be so proud of myself. but im never proud of myself, my grades keep me down and stress me out. i hate hearing people say "god i have a 3.87, i could do so much better." It just makes me get down on myself, and feel so dissapointed in myself for sucking at life, and at school. i can't do anything right. my parents like hate me, and don't trust me at all. i can barely do anything. while everyones out having fun, im at home doing nothing. i just wish life was just so easy. i just don't want to grow up. my dad tells me i'm growing up way too fast, but i'm still stuck in middle school. boy do i miss middle school, where life was easy and you worried about nothing. everyone was friends, everyone got along, there was no boy drama, because half of us didn't have boyfriends or girlfriends, we just hung out with everyone. highschool changed everyone, and i wish i never came to this damn school. I lost some of my best friends, that i thought would be with me till i was married. you know when your little and you talk about like how their gonna be in your wedding, but that first day in highschool totally took away your friendships. its a fact of life, friends aren't forever, they change, you change, and within a second your entering a new life, that you never thought would happen. i barely talk to any of my old friends. it sucks. i miss summer, i miss having a life. maybe summer would help me out a little. you know i miss the 8 muskateers, and hanging out with them day till night everyday. i miss tdb and natalie and kaley and amanda. sometimes i just wanna cry knowing that those we're the best days of my life, and it's gone with a blink of an eye. i miss just being with my old friends. some people i don't even like look at anymore, it's really sad. it's like they act so much better than you, because their in highschool. i wish you never grew up, because you have to accept so much responsability that you can barely handle. I mean my parents are already talking about college, and i'm only like what fifteen. god it's sad. i'm scared about college, where i'm gonna go, if i'm even gonna get accepted with the shitty grades i have. i just wish i was a 4.0 stupid, perfect life, nothing went wrong, my parents actually liked me and trusted me. yeah i fucked up over the summer, all that shit i shouldn't have done. But in that split second, you say hey that was so funny, i'm gonna remember it for life. Yeah it's gonna stick with you for your whole life. but it's gonna screw you up in the long run. I wish relationships were so fun, and not as serious. I miss 8th grade so much. today i picked my brother up from his little dance thingy, and at the time i thuoght they were so gay, and i wanted to be a "cool" highschooler, but now that i'm there i want to go back. I just remember walking down the hallways in 8th grade, not worrying abuot anything or anyone. or my grades for that matter. I always told myself i'll buckle down in highschool, but i didn't. I still got 2 more years, but they go by so fast, i don't know what i'm gonna do. i just suck, and it's sad thinking about it. i think way too much, i get down way to easily, i'm so emotional about everything. goddd urgh.

i hate looking at peoples livejournals and seeing like 20 comments, i get like 8 as my maximum. urgh. i'm just gonna give up.

layout teaching.....? i even suck at an effing livejournal. i'm horrible.

to mikeCollapse )

12 are | thinking awful things.

i've got no one to send a little too, would you mind if i sent one back here to you [posted: 02/25/2005 @ 11:07p.]
[ mood | depressed ]

so today was a good day. but when i reflect back on everything, i suck at everything. my grades are terrible, and i feel like i just can't keep them up. i'll get good grades, but my grade just drops so much. i feel like i don't learn anything, and i can't understand anything. i hate when people are like i got a b+ i'm so mad, but like to me i'd be so proud of myself. but im never proud of myself, my grades keep me down and stress me out. i hate hearing people say "god i have a 3.87, i could do so much better." It just makes me get down on myself, and feel so dissapointed in myself for sucking at life, and at school. i can't do anything right. my parents like hate me, and don't trust me at all. i can barely do anything. while everyones out having fun, im at home doing nothing. i just wish life was just so easy. i just don't want to grow up. my dad tells me i'm growing up way too fast, but i'm still stuck in middle school. boy do i miss middle school, where life was easy and you worried about nothing. everyone was friends, everyone got along, there was no boy drama, because half of us didn't have boyfriends or girlfriends, we just hung out with everyone. highschool changed everyone, and i wish i never came to this damn school. I lost some of my best friends, that i thought would be with me till i was married. you know when your little and you talk about like how their gonna be in your wedding, but that first day in highschool totally took away your friendships. its a fact of life, friends aren't forever, they change, you change, and within a second your entering a new life, that you never thought would happen. i barely talk to any of my old friends. it sucks. i miss summer, i miss having a life. maybe summer would help me out a little. you know i miss the 8 muskateers, and hanging out with them day till night everyday. i miss tdb and natalie and kaley and amanda. sometimes i just wanna cry knowing that those we're the best days of my life, and it's gone with a blink of an eye. i miss just being with my old friends. some people i don't even like look at anymore, it's really sad. it's like they act so much better than you, because their in highschool. i wish you never grew up, because you have to accept so much responsability that you can barely handle. I mean my parents are already talking about college, and i'm only like what fifteen. god it's sad. i'm scared about college, where i'm gonna go, if i'm even gonna get accepted with the shitty grades i have. i just wish i was a 4.0 stupid, perfect life, nothing went wrong, my parents actually liked me and trusted me. yeah i fucked up over the summer, all that shit i shouldn't have done. But in that split second, you say hey that was so funny, i'm gonna remember it for life. Yeah it's gonna stick with you for your whole life. but it's gonna screw you up in the long run. I wish relationships were so fun, and not as serious. I miss 8th grade so much. today i picked my brother up from his little dance thingy, and at the time i thuoght they were so gay, and i wanted to be a "cool" highschooler, but now that i'm there i want to go back. I just remember walking down the hallways in 8th grade, not worrying abuot anything or anyone. or my grades for that matter. I always told myself i'll buckle down in highschool, but i didn't. I still got 2 more years, but they go by so fast, i don't know what i'm gonna do. i just suck, and it's sad thinking about it. i think way too much, i get down way to easily, i'm so emotional about everything. goddd urgh.

i hate looking at peoples livejournals and seeing like 20 comments, i get like 8 as my maximum. urgh. i'm just gonna give up.

layout teaching.....? i even suck at an effing livejournal. i'm horrible.

to mikeCollapse )

thinking awful things.

wasting away again in Margaritaville [posted: 02/25/2005 @ 1:44p.]
[ mood | busy ]

well i'm in school right now
i tell you its really boring.
but i'm having a great day!
we're using labtops in psychology class
its funnnn

don't know what i'm doing tonight
basketball game with amanda?
or something else?
undecided...undecided....

well i better be going.
i'm really bored.

love lindsey

 

2 are | thinking awful things.

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